Benny Mac and the Middle Middle Show

Once again, feel free to add.
Once again, in no particular order:

1. "Luke, I am your father" - James Earl Jones, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

2. "You can't handle the truth!" - Jack Nicholson, A Few Good Men

3. "Peace, love, dope! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" - James Earl Jones - Field of Dreams

4. "You never got me down, Ray. Never got me down," Robert DeNiro - Raging Bull

5. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning... it smells like... victory" - Robert Duvall - Apocalypse Now

6. "You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons a silly person. I blow my nose at you so called 'Arthur King', you and all your silly English kinigits! I don't wanna talk to you no more you empty-headed animal food troph wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries! - Monty Python - Quest for the Holy Grail.

7. "I want you to find this guy, find out where he lives. I want him DEAD. I want his family DEAD. I want his house burned to the ground! I want to go to his house and I want to PISS ON HIS ASHES." - Robert DeNiro - The Untouchables

8. "ET phone home..." - ET

9. "Yippie-Ki-Yay Mother Fucker" - Bruce Willis - Die Hard

10. "I'll be back" - Ah-nold - Terminator

11. "We're gonna need a bigger boat" - Jaws

12. "Game over, man, game over!" - Alien

13. "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!" - Peter Sellers - Dr. Strangelove

14. "How do you write women so well?"
"I think of a man... and then I take away reason and accountability." - Jack Nicholson - As Good As It Gets

15. "Top of the world, Ma! Top of the world!" - James Cagney - White Heat

16. "You just have to ask yourself one question, 'do I feel lucky?' Well... do ya, punk?" - Clint Eastwood - Dirty Harry

17. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," - Clark Gable - Gone With the Wind

18. "I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore" - Judy Garland - Wizard of Oz

19. "I know kung fu." - Keaneu Reeves - Matrix

20. "FREEEEEEEDDOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Mel Gibson - Braveheart

Obviously there are plenty out there.

Later.

There's something terribly pretentious about clicky-pens.

Later.

This is a list of people that I, were I gifted with such power, would make burst into flames.

In no particular order:

Tyra Banks - Actually, she's number one. She's just... God I hate her so much. And if you've ever seen clips of her show, or "America's Next Top Model", you know why.

Karl Rove - It needs to be done. Unfortunately, his pact with the devil has made him impervious to flames, so whatcha gonna do? (Yeah it's a cheap shot, but it's funny to me, so there)

Paris Hilton - She's actually almost off the list. She's stayed out of the news for a while, so she may fall back into my "eh, who cares?" zone. But God help her if she makes another movie.

Fanny Dashwood - A character from Sense & Sensibility, by Jane Austen. She's just a horrible person.

Charlotte Bronte - Because FUCK Jane Eyre, that's why. I don't care if she's dead, I want her immolated.

Tila Tequila - This Bi-sexual asian midget has NO redeeming value. She's not even that good looking. While we're at it, lets burn everyone who has ever appeared on her show. And "Rock of Love". And "Flavor of Love".

The People Who Killed the Electric Car - I don't quite know who they are, but they're out there.

People Who Sue After Injuring Themselves - If there was shards of glass in your coffee, that's one thing. But so help me, if you want a million dollars because a sequin flies off the BACK your thong and hits you in the EYE, then FUCK YOU, BURST INTO FLAMES.

People Who Don't Seem to Understand The Whole "Separation of Church and State" Thing - Pretty self-explanatory. Name a political issue, there's some Nazi FUCK (Quite possibly ignorant)Christian fighting for all the wrong reasons. Not sayin' all Christians are Nazi FUCK Ignorants, the vast majority aren't. But the vast majority of Christians are fine is just like saying that the vast majority of Muslims are NOT militant, capitalist-hating fuck-mooks.

Rush Limbaugh - He knows what he did.

Feel free to add.

Later.

George Carlin, 2008. He was 71. Died of heart failure.

One of those people I never wanted to die.

Have you noticed that in movies, the actors playing characters don't exist? For example, Robert Downey Jr. doesn't exist in the world in which Iron Man takes place. Otherwise people would be saying things like, "You know something? Tony looks an awful lot like Robert Downey."

Which brings me to my point. Disney doesn't not exist in Disney movies.

Buzz and Woody never once mention that Disneyland is a neat place for Andy to take them.

No one ever mentions that Pete's Dragon looks like the dragon Madaam Mim turns into in Sword in the Stone.

So get this. Ever notice that there's always a happy ending in Disney movies? Every single one of them. Notice how there's never a happy ending in real life?

In Disney movies, Disney does not exist, and there's always a happy ending.
In real life, Disney exists, and there are no happy endings.

Disney is the reason there are no happy endings.

I dont know about you, but I think that's fucked.

Later.

That's right friends, cause I KNOW ya'll been waitin' for it as long as I have, the 2008 Black Box Awards.

Tonight was them. I won an award, which is awesome. Best Use of a Prop. I was the prop. You know that facebook picture I have up on my profile? Yea, he can turn into things. So he turned into a log. If you really want there's like 20 pictures of the scene. But yea. I've won something each year, which is sick.

Oh, and in the spring of next year, CCSU is gonna be doing Chicago for the yearly musical. That might not mean much to any of you, except for Hank... But if you wanna audition or just stop by to say hi, I encourage you to do so.

Oh yea. And I got accepted to the BFA: Acting program. So hot damn skippy. Now if I could just figure out that whole... future thing.

Later.

Forgive me, I seem to be mostly deaf.

Had good seats. Fourth row.

Fabolous was entertaining. Had a live band along with his MC. The drummer was AMAZING.

Reel Big Fish was amazing. Interesting fact, they're actually THE Reel Big Fish. Go figure. They played all the songs I wanted them to.

Let me ask you something. When you go to concerts, do you scream out names of songs you want played? I don't get it. It seems rude to me.

Later.

Edit: By the way, if Reel Big FUCKOFF Fish asks you if you know the words to "She Has a Girlfriend Now" and invites you on stage to sing it, KNOW THE GODDAMN FUCKING WORDS. Don't just be a douche trying to get on stage. Like SOME people at the concert.

Well, at least this one.

CCSU has a big concert at the end of the year. Two years ago we had Lifehouse. Hells yea. Last year Busta Rhymes was here. Also pretty cool.

This year is Fabolous. No, I dont think I spelled that incorrectly. There was actually a big fuss about this guy being at CCSU and the impact he would have on the student body's grammar. People are silly sometimes.

Anyway, the opening act for this kid got into a serious car crash or something, so he can't perform. But hey, the show must go on, right? Just get a replacement act. Let's see... who's available.

You know who was available?

REEL

BIG

FUCKOFF

FISH.

Reel Big Fish is going to perform here. Hells yes! Now let's see if I can still get a ticket.

Later.

So The Tempest goes up Thursday. Thanks to the GD New Britain orchestra, we couldn't build the friggin' set till yesterday. Which means we couldn't start tech til today.

So call for tech today was 3:00. The techies, God love 'em, seem to have overestimated their prepared...ness. Actors didn't get on stage til about 9:00. And we still didn't get through the first page of text. Tomorrow will be interesting.

Meanwhile I have to make sure my Brit Lit professor doesn't castrate me for missing class.

So tech rehearsal and castration. Then grades. Then a job. Gotta have priorities.

Later.

While I'm on a little streak with anecdotes.

Last week I made myself die a little inside. It was my Brit Lit class, and we were talking about Gulliver's Travels. You know, the one about the big dude.

So we were discussing a particular passage, which happened to be one long sentence that went on for about half a page. I don't remember what it was about. But the professor asked, "Now why do you think Swift decided to use one long sentence instead of breaking it up into smaller ones?"

And the first thing that popped into my head was "Because he's a post-modernist"

And I laughed. I told no one why.

If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry about it. Just know that it's English humor. And English humor is not something that should be condoned.

Later.

I learned some new vocabulary this weekend.

I was watching this special on the History Channel, I think, about the real "Gangs of New York". There were lots of Irish immigrants escaping the potato famine at the turn of the century. And of course, in New York, there were gangs everywhere, people like the Dead Rabbits and the Plug Uglies.

The Plug Uglies were prety funny. They were a firefighter gang back when it wasn't a profession. Back in the day, New York city officials would offer the team that put out the fire a hefty bonus. So there are stories of two gangs of firefighters beating the hell out of each other over the right to put out a fire: Meanwhile,they'd be fighting ten feet away from the building as it burnt to the ground.

Anyway, vocab.

So the gangs did whatever the hell they wanted. Which involved looting. And when an Irish gang looted your apartment, anything they didn't want they would throw out the window. So all your lamps and sofas and toilet bowls would fly out the side of your building and smash into anything under them.

Hence the term Irish Confetti.

Laughed my ass off.

But you know that scene in Boondock Saints when the dude drops the toilet on the Russian guy? Yea.

Later.

I got out of rehearsal a little early tonight. I hadn't eaten dinner, so I went to Domino's to get a pizza and some cheezee-bread (mmmm tasty). I get out of the Domino's with my cardboard boxes full of goodness, and I notice that it's drizzling.

Then I notice that it's raining.

And then, I happen to notice that its POURING BALLS. All over my CARDBOARD boxes full of goodness.

So I hustled under the awning of the history building's entrance. I then sat my soaked behind down, and had a little feast. I spent the next half hour sitting two feet away from walls of water and having conversations with myself in the voice of my character.

I'm a fox. It's fun.

By the by, if anyone's in the area April 17-19, come see The Tempest. It's Shakespeare.

It's gonna be freakin' weird.

Later.

http://www.comingsoon.net/films.php?id=42456

There's still time to stop this. We must all band together!

I got nothing wrong with Leo. Quick and the Dead was a very good movie. And so was Catch Me If You Can.

But that kid has NO right to go ANYWHERE near Akira. And neither does Hollywood.

NO. BAD Hollywood.

Okay, so it's been a while.
There are plenty of things that I could update about.
But THIS is the piece of news that, although it's been out for a while, I have just been made aware of, and has motivated me in such a deep way that I must share.

Soul Calibur IV.

Darth Vader on the PS3.

Yoda on the Xbox 360.

I'll give you a moment.
...
...
...
Okay.

Just like Link, Spawn, and Heihachi in SC2, Yoda and Vader will be playable characters in Soul Calibur IV on their respective systems.

First of all... sweet.
Secondly... Dude. Come on. They have lightsabers. Everyone else is lucky to even have a sword that can turn into a whip.

That's just silly.

Later.

Again, in no particular order

1. Christian Bale from Equilibrium
2. The Predator
3. The Terminator
4. Batman (With the obvious exception of George Clooney)
5. Bruce Willis
6. Bruce Campbell
7. Samuel L. Jackson
8. Darth Vader
9. Darth Maul
10. Boba Fett
11. The Juggernaut, bitch.
12. Harrison Ford
13. Humphrey Bogart
14. James Cagney
15. Jason from Friday the 13th
16. Michael Meyers from Halloween
17. Frankenstein (Mary Shelly, not Hollywood)
18. Ender (Come on. His name is Ender. He ENDS people)
19. The Bugs from Starship Troopers
20. Morpheus
21. Agent Smith
22. Doomsday (The guy that killed Superman)
23. Captain Barbosa - Pirates of the Carribean
24. Captain Henry Morgan, the King of the Pirates - Real Life
Feel free to add.

Later.

In no particular order -

First full blown throwdown in Braveheart
Neo vs Morpheous - Matrix
Neo vs Agent Smith - Matrix
Neo and Trinity vs Army (Lobby Fight) - Matrix
Neo vs Seraph - Martrix Reloaded
Ziyi Zhang vs the other Lady - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Jackie Chan vs Gang of Thugs - Legend of Drunken Master
Bruce Lee vs Kareem Abdul-Jabar - Game of Death
The Entirety of Shoot 'Em Up
The Two guys with the fingernails and the guitar looking thing vs the Martial Arts Masters - Kung Fu Hustle
Battle of Helms Deep - Two Towers
Final Battle - Transformers
Autobots vs Junkians - Transformers: The Movie (80s Animated version, VERY good)
Tony Jaa vs Capoeria fighter - Tom Yung Goon
Hellboy vs Hound Demon - Hellboy
Wesley vs Indigo - Princess Bride
Battle of Wits - Princess Bride
Game of Questions - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
Mad Mordigan and Willow vs Evil Army - Willow

Edit: The Greasers vs Socias - The Outsiders

Feel free to add on. I'm sure I've missed a few.

Later.

I got back to my dorm tonight, and I turn on the TV, sit down, turn on my laptop, and I was about to eat some Phish Food ice cream, and what do I find on the tellie? Mary Poppins. And what scene was it? That song with all the chimney sweeps, "Step in Time".

And I immediately stop what I'm doing, and I watch the entire scene. I don't even think I blinked. That song has been one of my all time favorite songs since I was like four years old. And it's still up there in the charts.

Just a thought. Sometimes, in one way or another, it IS a spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

Think about it.

Later.

Okay, so here's a recap of me weekend.
Friday, 7:30pm - Jill: "Hey Ben, want to wash dishes at Chili's?" Ben: "Hell yea I wanna wash dishes at Chilis." Jill: Okay, I'll talk to the manager tomorrow."

Saturday, approx 1:00pm - Mom: "Wake up Ben, It's almost one. Oh, and you have an interview tomorrow at four." Ben: "Cool. I'm going to go play WoW until dinner."

Saturday, 2:00pm - Jill: "Hey Ben, you're going to start tonight at 5:00, wear jeans." Ben: "Er... sure, okay."

Sunday, 1:00 am: Jill: "How was it?" Ben: "My feet hurt."

So.
Hopefully I'll be employed doing what I love, washing dishes and listening to 104.1

I don't care if it's run by a robot, if a robot wants to play They Might Be Giants, Cake, Dropkick Murphys, and Might Mighty Bosstones all night, then hell YES 104.1 can and shall be run by a robot.

Oh, and for those of you who thought I still worked at Tommy K's Video, I got fired for doing sudoku. Long story.

Later.

Well, I moved in to my dorm... two months ago. Sorry for the belated news. Figured you guys would have known that.

Well I'm done with Grapes of Wrath. Now I can eat at night without having to sneak food out of the cafeteria to munch on during rehearsal breaks.

FYI, Stage manager time is not like normal people time. What 5 minutes is to us is 15 minutes to them. Bastards. I wanna eat dammit!

I'm one of the alternates for an acting scholarship. That means if the two actual nominees say, break their kneecaps... or come down with some horrible 'ailment'...
<.<
>.>
Then I'd go to the American College Theater Festival. Which is neat. Ah, good old ACTF. It was the first time I ever got drunk. Ah, memories.

I hope to be in The Tempest next semester. In the mean time, I need to find a job. For reals.

Later.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/07/23

And before I forget, I would like to say two more things.
1. Transformers, like all Micheal Bay movies, was a 2 hour commercial. But it was still damned entertaining, at least if you're not a purist. Also: that lady had VERY nice abs

2. 300 Comes to DVD next tuesday, July 31st.

Later